How To Increase Your Article’s Reading Time

Ever have to make a word count?

I remember back in the day trying to eke out 500 words for a high school composition class and thinking it was impossible. I’d spend all day, and most of the night only to realize that I’d written approximately 138 words.

So it can be hard to fill out an article’s length.

Now the easiest solution is of course to just put more words down.

Back in the day, Charles Dickens was paid per word and that’s why his books could be on the wordy side.

So if you find yourself a little short then it’s time to purple up that prose.

See you could write “Jack went to the store.”

That’s a solid sentence.

But it’s only five words. Keep writing like that and you’ll only be left with a coherent article filled with tightly written prose.

Who wants that?

Nah, not me.

You could also go with:

“And verily thus Jack, who was born to both his mother and his father on a warm spring day coincidentally on the Ides of March. The birds were chirping on the day of his broth and both of his parents looked rather happy. Though the mother looked exhausted and the father looked overwhelmed, but they raised the small boy. He went to school as most boys do. He grew in both height and width and perhaps a bit too much of the latter due to his mother’s cooking. As most children do in their youth he eventually had some chores. After a year or so of doing chores he had gained the necessary responsibility to go places on his own. And as such he went to the store.”

See way longer.

But that’s the only way.

Sometimes you don’t want to add more words you just want to make it look longer.

And that’s where your good friend Unsplash comes in.

Because now it’s time to add pictures.

This article is ostensibly about writing so here we go.

And another.

Ooooo, look a pen. It’s writing and everything.

This is always a good one.

Image for post
Image for post

Typewriters are always great. Writers love those.

And now, if those haven’t worked.

There’s one trick left.

It’s all about the formatting.

If you write like this it will take up a lot of space. And if it’s in the center it will add to the effect.

But the surest way is to make everything look like a heading. This way everything looks like more writing when in fact you’ve only written a small amount of content.

And if you add plenty of white space like a good little content creator it will double the amount of space you take up.

See the best way to write a lot is to not really write at all. It’s the secret of all great Internet writers.

You didn’t hear it from me though.

Written by

Matthew Donnellon is a writer, artist, and sit down comedian. He is the author of The Curious Case of Emma Lee and Other Stories.

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