I Was Once A Professional Twitter Writer

Sometimes you’re writing career will take funny turns.

This is especially true if you’re making a go of it as a freelancer.

That does double if you’re are just starting out, and you’re pretty much forced to take anything that comes your way.

This happened to me.

It’s not uncommon to come across social media writing gigs. Actually, I’m fairly convinced that approximately 87% of writing ads are asking for exactly this type of writing.

So I found myself writing for just such a company. They wanted to write filler content for business to help increase engagement so you wouldn’t have merely advertising copy in your Twitter feed.

If it sounds like a dumb idea it was was, and the business didn’t last that long. Now al that’s left is digital grave somewhere on the Internet.

This was right before Wendy’s Twitter account got pretty famous for doing this.

The company would say what they want and my job was to come up with “jokes” and “witty content.” I use quotations because business people often have terrible tastes in humor, and they would never pick the funniest stuff.

It was fun while it lasted, and the money was good.

It was also a challenge to write something funny in such a small space. At the time, Twitter was restricted to 140 characters. In fact, it is a great writing exercise. I’d suggest if you’re struggling to come up with something either write stories or jokes that fit that mold. It can get your creative juices flowing.

Anyway.

Here are some of the rejected that didn’t get used I found them in a file the other day and that became the nexus of this articles.

I was tasked with

My friend wanted to know what it’s like being a writer so I slapped him.

My dad said I should be a writer. Now, I think that meant he hated me.

I sometimes just write rejected on my work to save time

WRITER: Was Really Interested To Eventually Read.

WRITER: Witty Response Initiated To Every Reply

Write. Right? Write. Oh, Write. Right. Right? or Write? Oh never mind.

Edit: Errors Deleted In Time.

I tried to self publish but got rejected.

My pen name is Hasno Munny.

If you hold a book up to your ear you can hear the sound of a writer crying

I know people that can’t spell but make fun of my emoji selection

Every writing job is like “Hey for 2,000 words we’ll pay 5 dollars. Is that okay?

Writes fantastic tweet. Realizes that it disappeared into cyberspace, and maybe three people saw it before looking at a cat video.

Adverbs should used sparingly, rarely, exceptionally, or uncommonly

I don’t like being a ghost writer. I think Writer Wraith is much cooler.