So.

There’s a dairy producing Mountain Dew Ice Cream.

There are some things that are not natural and could be best described as a crime against God and man.

And, this my friends…is not one of them.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been more excited for anything, which might say more about me than it does about Mountain Dew flavored ice cream.

I love Mountain Dew. I love it far more than I should. While most people balk at its radioactive color and positively grotesque sugar content, I happily chug the lime green swill.

I remember the first time I had it. My dad gave it to me when I was a kid. At this point, I had had Coke and Sprite but that was it. I mean at the time, I thought the juice box was the greatest thing in the world, so I wasn’t the most enterprising young gastronome. But I took a sip of that electric yellow beverage and I was hooked for life.

From then on I was on a mission to get more of the magical elixir in the green bottle. I didn’t have it often as a kid, which was probably for the best. I spent the summers up north and once in a while we’d go into town. I’d always pick the Dew as my beverage of choice and drink that one bottle under the stars while we sat at a bonfire.

As I got older, I drank it more often. Maybe a little too often. But, each time I do it feels like I’m a kid again on those summer days.

And, then of course I come across an article saying that Mooville is making Mountain Dew flavored ice cream in Nashville, Michigan.

And I couldn’t be more excited.

The idea of frozen Mountain Dew is a pleasing one. Mountain Dew figured into another aspect of my childhood. When I’d go to the movies the theater had frozen Mountain Dew and if you want to explain heaven to child give him or her one of those, because it was rapturous.

I would sit in the theater enjoying it immensely.

And even as a child I thought, “This is great. They should make Mountain Dew ice cream. That would be amazing.”

And now twenty years later, it’s finally happened.

So now I shall seek out this treat, and if you don’t hear from me again it’s because I died of diabetic shock.

Written by

Matthew Donnellon is a writer, artist, and sit down comedian. He is the author of The Curious Case of Emma Lee and Other Stories.

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