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Writing is hard.

I don’t even really know why people do it.

You type and type and type and craft a story that you’ve spent hours and sometimes days on only for like 3 people to read and suddenly you ask yourself.

Why do I do this?

There’s got to be an easier what to make a buck like coal mining or deep sea fishing.

And it’s okay to quit.

In fact, more people should quit.

In fact, all writers should quit.

I mean what’s the point anyway? You can write a story with characters and expertly crafted dialogue that could make someone cry, but then you read a story about some silly blog post that makes 2,000 bucks it makes you want to break your keyboard over someone’s head.

So are you thinking about quitting?

This is the part where I tell you not to.

That you soldier on and keep a stiff upper lip and what not.

I’d launch into a soliloquy about the beauty of writing and that there’s nothing like the artistry of the written word and that it a holy craft.

But I’m not going to. It’s really quite dull and I think it’s funny so many people like doing it.

No you should quit if these things happen to you.

You First Book Wasn’t A Success

Have you written a book?

Just kidding, I know you’ve written a book. Everyone has written a book.

Have you published it?

Did any one read it?

It’s okay I know that the answer is. You wouldn’t be here if millions were reading your book.

And that’s the thing. I hate to tell you but unless it was flying off the shelves and you’re already on book tours then it’s too late.

You only get one chance at this.

Never mind the stories that some famous others found success with their second, third, fourth, or fiftieth book. They were just lucky.

So, if you didn’t strike it rich with your first book then it’s time to hang it up.

No arguments, just chuck the old typewriter into the trash.

It will be better this way. Pick up a more stable career like beekeeping or maybe running a newspaper.

You Constantly Have Writer’s Block

Do you struggle with writer’s block?

Does it feel like sometimes the words just don’t want to come out?

Some days it feels like the words have abandoned you like a jilted lover. They just disappeared into the air.

Maybe if this happened once or twice a year I could see this being okay, but if it happens all the time then I don’t think it will work out.

You see, real writers never get writer’s block. Each time they sit down at the keyboard the words just come flying out. I’ve seen real writers at work and their fingers move so fast you can hard see them. The words appearing on the screen as though though the computer screen itself was writing them.

But if you’re getting writer’s block then maybe it’s not the job for you. I mean there’s no plumber’s block or farmer’s block for a reason.

You Don’t Want To Spend All Your Time Writing

Everyone knows that if you want to be a writer then you need to devote all your time to it.

I don’t mean your off hours, or even your working hours.

I mean if you want to make a living as a writer than you need to write all the time. If you want silly things like a family, or friends then you need to give them up.

Your spouse will understand.

The kids will be fine.

If your friends were really your friends then they would leave you alone.

In fact, the best way to become a writer is to move to a shack in the woods with no one around. Then, and only then, will you have the peace and solitude that the profession requires.

But, most people don’t want to do that.

So, I’m telling you know. Just give in. Please it will make it all the more easy later on.

Writing will just be a silly phase you went through. No one will judge you.

I mean for that. They’ll probably judge you for other reasons. That’s what people do.

And so there it is.

If this these three reasons seem familiar then give it up.

And no I’m just trying to get you to quit so there will be less competition.

That would make me far too calculating.

Written by

Matthew Donnellon is a writer, artist, and sit down comedian. He is the author of The Curious Case of Emma Lee and Other Stories.

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