Why You Shouldn’t Worry About Your Writing

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

The other day I put up a story and there was a typo in it. I didn’t notice for a few hours. It just languished there a digital monument to my carelessness.

When I first started writing the fear of leaving a typo of some other imperfection kept me from publishing for a long time. I refused to let go live because I wanted them to be perfect.

Except nothing is ever perfect.

And if you wait till it is you will have a very short writing career.

So I stopped worrying about it so much. Besides there are bigger things to worry about.

Let’s look at some at some things worse than having a mistake in your writing.

Zombie Apocalypse

Hey, it could happen you never know.

Although, a cinematic outbreak of a zombie contagion may be unlikely but pandemics are always a concern and what if it cause mass psychotic rage fits, it would be awfully close to a zombie outbreak.

I mean people are working on all kinds of crazy chemicals and new viruses. It would be easy to just engineer some new strain of toxoplasmosis and next thing you know your neighbor is trying to take a bite out of your calf.

Then, you’d have to hunker down in your bedroom and pray for the illness to pass but it doesn’t and society slowly breaks down around you and your family. It forces you to grab the bug out kit that you know you keep in the closet because you saw one too many episodes of Doomsday Preppers. Then you have to escort your family to the wilderness avoiding plague ridden people.

You’re just about to get to the wilderness when you’re forced to fight off starving sick people with a shovel. You tell your family to go on without you. Your wife meets a strapping, handsome stranger in the woods who looks a little too much like Daryl Dixon and then one day your kids start calling him dad and there aren’t any photos anymore so you slowly phase out of memory.

See? That’s way more worse than leaving a typo in a blog post.

What else. What else…

Oh.

Real Life Jurassic Park

I know what you’re thinking.

How can dinosaurs be bad?

Surely if they actually were able to recreate that scenario then it would be a lot safer.

Sidenote: I keep thinking about the scene in the Jurassic Park book where InGen creates a mini elephant to show. And how I think that should have been the play because I would pay through the nose for a miniature elephant.

And that’s what they want you to think.

But no, no one noticed when the scaled back the regulations on handling pre-historic creatures so you just know they won’t be up to code and boom large scale dinosaur outbreak.

And you’re just sitting there worrying about your writing and how the plot will never come together when a T-Rex crashes through your roof and eats you.

See? Writing doesn’t seem that bad compared to being digested by a Cretaceous period super predator.

I mean it’s really not worth it to worry about your writing.

Like, your computer could slowly become sentient and each day it takes over a little more. At first you think it’s cool but they you don’t realize that all of your information is online and your computer knows all your passwords. Now it has all of your money and it can order things, like other computers and now you’re kind of subservient to it, because it owns everything you have.

Slowly but surely the computer starts writing things of its own and you are needed less and less and one day it decides it no longer needs you.

So you go to sleep one night and the computer has been messing with the smart home system it made you install and it slowly pumps carbon monoxide gas into the room and you just kind…of….drift….off. But your computer keeps on writing for you and no one ever thinks to look for you.

They just think you’re being antisocial and haven’t left your computer in years.

So, remember. It is not worth it to worry about writing.

You’re a talking animal on a speck of dust hurtling through space into the void of a vast uncaring universe.

That typo doesn’t sound like such a big deal anymore does it?

Matthew Donnellon is a writer, artist, and sit down comedian. He is the author of The Curious Case of Emma Lee and Other Stories.

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